Yesterday, I sat around a table with 3 men, two I have served with and admire and Ernie who I just met.  We were planning out a communications plan for the Vulnerable Children's ministry at my church.  I was there because in a debrief meeting after an event serving foster families it came up that there was a dire need for communications help.  

I recall the drop in my stomach as I heard the need.  "But God, this can't be what you have for me.  I teach the Bible."  Then I felt the deep stare from my daughter sitting next to me and then an elbow in my ribs.  I looked into her face as she mouthed, "mom, that's you."  This would not be the first time God has used my daughter to nudge me down His path for me.

As I sat in the planning meeting yesterday we laid out the communication needs of the ministry and I took notes to create a process and procedure for managing communications. 

"I don't want to over ask, I know you are volunteering," staff member and ministry leader, Max, had said this to me before.  God knew I would need gentle leadership as I eased back into serving at church.  His mercies are new everyday.

"You are not over asking, " I assured him.  "I will get this organized, I will meet the needs with volunteers and train them, but long term doing the day to day execution is work to me, literally, since that is what I do for a living." 

Ernie who has a calm and quite way about him looked at me for a moment.  "What is it that brings you joy in serving?"

"Teaching the Bible is my passion."

Earnie smiled, "I was just in South America teaching the principles of Trust Based Relational Intervention for children who have experienced trauma and when I would share the science behind it and why it works the people didn't want to accept it.  They wanted to know what God said about it.  They trust God not science in their culture.  There is a need for Bible teaching in caring for vulnerable children."

I smiled this time.

Then Max asked me, "would you want to do Biblical teachings on TBRI and connecting with children from hard places?"

"Maybe," I answered, "but right now God has asked me to do this."

My answered surprised me a bit, it may surprise you, why wouldn't I jump at the chance to teach again and leave all this communications stuff that felt like work to someone else?  The answer is simple, experience in trusting God and not rushing what He has for me at the cost of building His kingdom.  Funny enough, I started in women's ministry in the trenches of communications before ever taking the stage to teach a Bible Study.    It is in these quiet places of serving behind the scenes that learning takes place, relationships are built, and faithfulness in serving where God places you is tested.

Is God asking you to serve in a place that doesn't make sense?  Don't be a Jonah.  Say yes.  Abide in Him and allow Him to teach you in a season of ambiguity.  Serve selflessly because there is a need, not because you love doing something.  Heed the words of Jesus who said he came not to be served but to serve.

Kingdom work always requires the hard and holy yes if you want to see God move.  When you stand before God and give an account of your life don't let his words be, "You saw a need and you didn't fill it."  Let His words be, "Well done good and faithful servant."

​Have the faith to say yes.

I'd love to hear from you.  Is God asking you to say yes to something but you are struggling to commit to it?  Let me know so I can pray for you and encourage you.

​Two years ago, I felt a prompting to visit other churches.  I had no intention of leaving my church; I just felt a stir by the Holy Spirit to go and see how He was moving in other churches.  The big shutdown came soon after and so I shelved that call to go and meet others walking out their faith in the churches around me.

But now, ​God has stirred anew in me, and I set off this month to my first church in my ten-church tour.  I was not intentional about going to this church first but rather led by the spirit to visit.  Something was awaiting me at this church, breakthrough and healing.

Holy Spirit led me to this adventure, and I trust him to guide me to the churches he intends to have me visit.  Now that I have said that my next statement may make you laugh; I found this church while scrolling through Facebook events.  God can make even the unholy holy, am I right?
 
Anyhoo, I saw this healing event and I was intrigued.  I saw that it was at a Presbyterian church, and I was even more intrigued.  I felt God say…go.  I grabbed my keys while my family looked at me dumbfoundedly about where I was going, begging me to not leave our church.  I assured them I was not leaving our church, just visiting God’s Church.
 
It turned out this Irvine church with wooden pews, big glass windows, and a statue of Jesus tending sheep in the front garden is pastored by the namesake grandson of Robert Schuller of the Chrystal Cathedral.  It was not Bobby Schuler that took the pulpit that evening, it was his wife, Hannah.  

It was clear Hannah had a passion for the healing power of God and was eager to take him at his Word.  Honest that God does not always heal this side of heaven she reminded us that God does still heal and shared some stories and invited some to the stage with testimonies of miraculous healing.  She read from Scripture and encouraged with the word before leading us all in prayer and inviting people to come forward to be prayed for by her and the congregation.  We stretched our hands forward and believed for each person that God would heal them.
 
“Now do what you couldn’t do before,“ she would proclaim to the person who was prayed for encouraging them to take God at his word and trust in his healing power.  Some expressed that maybe they felt a little better, some had ailments that couldn’t be seen with the naked eye and were told to go home trusting they were healed, and one woman put down her walker and lifted her knees to her waist and praised God that she could move with no pain. 
 
Hannah reminded us to keep praying and trusting in God, knowing that if He doesn’t heal this side of heaven, He will give us the grace we need to keep going.  Then she invited whoever else that wanted prayer to come find a prayer volunteer and be prayed over.  Now it was my turn.
 
I needed healing.  Not from a physical ailment you could see but one that was deep, my very heart had been broken and had never fully healed.  Each additional crack in my unmended heart led me to thought patterns that had stolen my peace, had stolen the way I operated in the world, had stolen my ability to trust.  I wanted freedom from this bondage that I beat myself up for not being able to kick.  I had spiritual warfare to attend to in order to get my peace and my joy back.
 
I approached a sweet couple ready to pray over me.  I shared a small piece of recent heartbreak and the desire to be free from the heaviness on my heart and scatteredness in my mind.  The wife spoke a word over me, an extremely specific prophetic word that had been spoken over me before.  At that time, I didn’t want to receive it because I wasn’t sure if the person who first spoke it was just being kind because she knew me.  (Talk about a Gideon and the fleece moment.)  But this woman didn’t know me, she didn’t even know what church I attended.  The Holy Spirit took her obedience and ministered right to my heart filling me with hope and peace.

​Next, her and her husband prayed for me, and I felt a heaviness go.  The fruit of the Spirit evicted all adversity trying to steal my peace and joy.  I cannot explain it except to say it was a miracle.  I felt a move of God in my very soul tending the wounds in me, his beloved.  I felt grateful for the Church.  The big C Church where God is alive and well working in and through his people.  

To the girl struggling to find hope this season,
 
Hope can feel elusive, especially this time of year.  Outside the world shouts “be happy” with twinkling lights and bustling stores filled with holiday décor but inside you feel a bit dim.  You wonder if you will be able to endure this hopeless holiday season once more without exploding or imploding.
 
Friend, I see you.  And friend, I want to tell you that it’s OK that you feel the way you do. 
 
Our emotions were given by God.  If you don’t believe that to be true you need only to look at scripture to be assured.  Jesus was God in the flesh.  Jesus got angry and threw over tables.  Jesus wept.  Jesus loved his friends and family.  Jesus also got up in their faces from time to time.  (Friend, read your Bible…it’s really good!)
 
My point is this, if you are trying to stuff your feelings in order to put on a happy face this season.  Stop.  God never asked you to not have feelings.  He gave them for a purpose…embrace them, explore them, kick out the ones that don’t belong, but feel them.  They are a sacred gift; they are part of your humanity.
 
I started off writing about hope and moved on to feelings pretty quickly and here is why.  Our feelings are an important part of life, but we must learn to discern when our feelings are sabotaging us.  Feelings unchecked can take a bad day or a bad relationship or a bad situation and make us feel that life is hopeless.  Feelings can make us decide that things will never change.  Feelings can tell us to give up when we should hold on.  Feelings can tell us that it would be better to just stay in bed until after Christmas.  Feelings can lie to us.
 
We must learn to check our feelings against scripture.  We must hold up our feelings to the light of truth and see if they can stand in the light.  Have you ever noticed that feelings of sadness, depression and hopelessness prefer a dark bedroom with covers over your head?  Girl, there is always a time and place for a good cry, but when we are done staining our pillow with mascara tears we must move towards the light.  This is where we find hope.
 
What does moving towards the light look like?  It looks like opening the blinds and opening your Bible.  It looks like rather than replaying a situation over and over in your head you recount it to God in prayer and ask Him to help you overcome it.  It looks like boldly declaring in the morning, “I can’t change this hopeless fill in the blank, but God can”!
 
Simple steps like this are the cornerstones of hope that will lead us to the solid rock foundation we find in Jesus.  Starting with these steps moves us out of the natural and into the supernatural place of hope beyond hope in a hopeless situation.  This space is where you enter into the glorious mystery of God’s realm.  I know because I have been there and when I drift, I always find my way back.  When everyone around you can look and ask, “how can she still have hope?”, you know you have tapped into the true source of hope that only Jesus gives.
 
This is hope.  Jesus, God in the flesh, came to earth for us. When we couldn’t make ourselves right with God, when the world was too broken and people were breaking each other, when obedience to God was impossible and humanity couldn’t measure up to the standard of holiness, He came.  He didn’t turn his back and walk away.  He came near and whispered as gently as a baby cooing, “I will make this right, I will stand in the gap for you”.
 
Sister, you are loved.  You are cared for beyond measure by a God who came down to earth to die for your sins to make you right with Himself.  The division between you and God is not there.  This is where your feelings will lie to you.  You can’t earn this kind of love.  You can’t justify yourself in the court of grace.  When God came as Jesus, then died on the cross, then rose from the dead, then promised to return he had you in mind.  He did it all for you.  You simply believe it and receive the blessing of everlasting life.
 
Everlasting life outshines all the dim things on this earth.  Everlasting life reminds us that this world is temporary and so are it’s worries and hurts.  It reminds us to endure knowing we have a friend in Jesus to journey with us the whole way.  Everlasting life is our future and our hope. 
 
Friend, if you were here with me right now I would take your face in my hands and breathe the weary but stubborn hope I have into you.  I would remind you that you are loved beyond measure by God and that He provides temporary support in the form of other humans.  I would encourage you to reach out to a safe human and tell them, “I’m not OK today, do you have some hope to share?”.  I would help you write down a prayer to God giving Him all your worries and hurts and asking him to spark a flame of hope in your heart.  Then I would hug you and whisper in your ear that you are going to be OK, and that I will too, because Jesus promised he would never leave or forsake us.
 
Your partner in hope,
Katie
 
Here are some Bible verses to remind you of the hope you have in Jesus.
 
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.  Jeremiah 29:11 ESV
 
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.  Romans 15:13 ESV
 
Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.  Romans 12:12 ESV
 
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.  Hebrews 11:1 ESV
 
But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.  Isaiah 40:31 ESV
 
For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.  Romans 8:24-25 ESV
 
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,  1 Peter 1:3 ESV
 
For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.  Romans 15:4 ESV
 
“And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you.  Psalm 39:7 ESV
 
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.  Revelation 21:4 ESV
 
Surely there is a future, and your hope will not be cut off.  Proverbs 23:18 ESV
 
So that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.  Titus 3:7 ESV

You are doing it.  You are waking up each day putting one foot in front of the other and making it happen.  Good on you!
 
Now, let’s talk about your heart for a minute.  While we are all waking up in the morning and laying down at night, how is the condition of our heart throughout the day?  It’s one thing to tackle a day and a totally other thing to embrace it.   Tackling requires determination and force, embracing requires acceptance and surrender.
 
I’ve talked to a lot of people who are tackling this season:  powering through with gripes and grumbles, holding on by a thread, falling back on old vices.  I’ve talked to very few who are embracing it, gracefully surrendering, and saying no matter what God is good so my day will be too.  I fall somewhere in the middle (though I’d love to say I am perfectly surrendering).
 
Friends, it is only in surrender that we find peace.  But what are we surrendering to?  A pandemic?  New schedules?  Lost jobs?  No in person schooling?  Yes, and no.  Yes, because this is what God has for us in this season or He wouldn’t allow it.  I know your heart wants to push back on that.  I didn’t say God caused it.  I said He allowed it.  The Bible is full of bad situations God allowed but used for good.  No, because we are not surrendering to a temporary situation but rather to a God that we trust.  We are abandoning ourselves entirely to a God that knows better than we do.  Surrender requires humility and recognition of our mortality.
 
Surrender your heart to God, turn to him in prayer, and give up your sins— even those you do in secret.  Then you won’t be ashamed; you will be confident and fearless.  Job 11:13-15
 
I wonder if some of us have “secret sins”?  I wonder if our secret sin is the condition of our heart.  We keep the smile, do the right things in public, post all the pretty pictures and Bible verses on social media, but behind closed doors we are cursing the situation we are in.  Worse, we are cursing our brothers and sisters made in the image of God because of how they are handling things.  We have created a false confidence because we are afraid, pride.
 
Job 11:15 promises that when you surrender your heart to God “you won’t be ashamed; you will be confident and fearless”.  This is not a prideful false confidence that tackles each day with the appearance of fearlessness.  It is the fruit of surrender, it is peace.  It is what makes people ask, “how are you so calm and happy right now with all we are facing?”  It looks a lot like hope.  It looks a lot like light in a dark world, and isn’t that what we are called to be?
 
Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.  Hebrews 10:22-23

​“Ephesians deals with topics at the very core of what it means to be a Christian—both in faith and in practice—regardless of any particular problem in the community.”  ~Pastor Chuck Swindell
 
This succinct description of the book of Ephesians is a beautiful introduction to what I am about to share.  Certainly, we are living in a time of problems.  Sadly, these problems are infringing upon our ability to live in a way that displays our faith in a positive light. 
 
Voices and opinions have gotten too loud, so loud I have felt a bit silenced, confused, tossed by the waves of constantly changing information on a pandemic, justice being fused with political movements that I don’t agree with, politicians that are supposed to protect religious freedoms but deny God with their deeds.  Not just a country divided but neighborhoods fractured by the assertion of opinions rather than humility, gentleness, patience.  Social media is painted with memes that say I am listening one day and then filled with shouts of disapproval and belittling people that don’t agree the next.  I would say our daily environment is nothing less than hostile.
 
I’d like to blame this on the news, blame it on the politicians, blame it on hooligans and vagabonds and those who deny God.  The truth is that the Church, as in believers not a building, are contributing to the chaos just the same.  When I say the Church it includes me…so here I sit with a finger pointing at myself asking what my role in all this is.  Maybe you are doing the same.
 
Friends, our role hasn’t changed.  Perhaps that will put your mind at ease.  In a world ever changing and conflicted your heavenly calling doesn’t waver.  Read the following words of Paul as he wrote from a jail cell. 
 
As a prisoner in the Lord, then, I urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling you have received: with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, and with diligence to preserve the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.  Ephesians 4:1-3
 
If anyone had the right to feel discouraged it was Paul.  He was following God whole heartedly and nothing seemed to pan out right, beatings, whippings, jailing, boat wrecks.  However, when most people would be at the end of their rope, Paul puts pen to parchment and implores fellow believers to live according to their heavenly calling.  Be humble, be gentle, have patience with one another, bear (carry, support, hold up) with one another in love and diligence.  Why? To preserve unity and peace.  We could all use a good dose of that!
 
As I look at the finger I have pointed toward myself I ask, what am I doing to preserve unity and peace?  In turn, I ask you.  Could we refrain from accusing and verbally abusing those that don’t agree with us?  Could we keep scrolling when we really want to type out a snide rebuttal on social media.  Friends, when I am triggered to comment in a negative way or prove my point on a social  post, I snooze that person for 30 days.  It removes the temptation to respond in an ungodly way and protects the integrity of my Christian walk.  Could we offer words of kindness instead of our opinions?  Even better could we build each other up in God’s word?
 
Paul doesn’t just compel us in Ephesians to behave a certain way so we can label ourselves good Christians, remember he is a proponent of humility.  He tells us how it will benefit us when we abide in God’s ways and recall who we are in Christ.  When we spend time pursuing our Christian walk though scripture and prayer and walking out what we learn, there are benefits.  Paul shares in Ephesian 4:14-15:
 
“Then we will no longer be infants, tossed about by the waves and carried around by every wind of teaching and by the clever cunning of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into Christ Himself, who is the head.”
 
I have a confession…I have been down, weighted with the noise of opinions and uncertainty.  This always weighs heavily on me because I feel as a Bible teacher I shouldn’t get down, but God is revealing something to me.  Paul was certainly not happy in jail as he wrote this letter.  He wasn’t cheerful and ambivalent to what was going on in the world about him.  He was one thing, content to be doing the work that God had called him to do despite his surroundings. 

Paul was not controlled by his emotions and he had learned to put his opinions aside and replace them with the word of God.  He spoke truth in love.  Not Paul’s truth, not the politician’s truth, not the jailer’s truth, not the persecutors truth, GOD’S TRUTH IN LOVE.  Paul wasn’t deceived or tossed by the waves of life, he didn’t rely on clever men, or fall for deceitful schemes, instead he grew up in Christ and helped others do the same. 
 
Ya’ll got me preaching now.  Go read your Bibles.
 
In Christ,
Katie

​I watched a sermon by Sarah Jakes last night and she talked about navigating in other people’s Kingdoms as God uses you to expand His.  It was certainly a timely message for me as I step into a larger role of serving at my local church.  In just a few short weeks I will be leading a couple hundred women in a weekly Bible study.
 
When you step into new territory it is tempting to look around and see how others are doing it.  When you are staring at yourself in the mirror looking for what God obviously sees in you but can’t find, it’s easy to fall back on the old instead of usher in the new.  But don’t. 
 
When I am unsure the first thing I do is dive into my Bible.  Full disclosure…sometimes the first thing I do is call some trusted friends freak out, let them calm me down, and then dive into my Bible.  No matter how I start, the answers are always in the Book.  As I step into this new role and am looking for answers, God has pointed me to young David for inspiration and to his experiences for wisdom.
 
Young David was ready to go.  He was ready to take on a giant.  But Saul replied, “You can’t go fight this Philistine. You’re just a youth, and he’s been a warrior since he was young.” 1 Samuel 17:33 CSB
 
Have you ever been ready to step into your calling but then Satan sends people to tell you that you aren’t ready?  It’s just like the enemy to cast a dark shadow on a joyous moment through people that should have your back.  If only we could be like David when this happens. 

Let me paraphrase 1 Samuel 17:32-39: 
David:  Dude, I got this giant.  I can take him down.  What are you afraid of?  I’m not.
Saul:  Umm, did you realize you are young and inexperienced and that guy has been doing this forever?
David: What you don’t know about me is that I have been fighting battles all my life.  You just weren’t there to see it.  And I have been victorious, so I am not afraid of experience and age.  I know God has my back.
Saul: Go for it then, dog, (eye roll) but at least take my advice and do it like I would.
David:  I’ve listened to how you would do it but this just doesn’t feel right.  I’m used to doing it the God way.  I’ll stick to that.

Ok that was a super loose translation but I wanted to break it down so you understand what is happening here.  God had already prepared David.  He knew he was ready, but the authority over him did not.  David had to fight for his opportunity to show everyone that God would lead him to victory.
 
People couldn’t see it.  They only saw the young man of small stature in front of them.  God had been pouring into David.  God saw a young man of character that He could work though.
 
Saul was persistent.  He was going to allow David to give this thing a try but he wanted David to do it his way.  Have you ever been called by God but then told you couldn’t go where He was calling you by the person in charge?  It can be frustrating, right?  Well, David wasn’t having it. 
 
David knew God so intimately that he knew to respectfully push back.  First, he tried it Saul’s way.  He put on the armor that Saul would have used.  Funny that Saul didn’t put it on himself and go fight the giant but rather put it on David.  He wanted David to do the work he was called to do and he wanted David to do it his way.
 
But David was bold.  He knew how he had been victorious over trials in the past and it wasn’t by walking in other people’s shoes.  It was by walking in step with his God.  So, he took off the armor, handed it back to Saul and essentially said, “With all due respect, I’m doing it God’s way.”
 
If you are following Jesus and seeking God’s will for your life…I mean seriously seeking, not just quick morning prayers each day but actually walking daily with eyes wide open for signs and diving into his word every time you have a question or trial and looking at every challenge as a way to become more like Christ.  Then eventually God is going to use you in a big way.
 
When He uses you, it will not feel comfortable.  You will not feel prepared.  You will look around at all the people that seem to be better equipped than you and question yourself.  People will look at you sideways and say things under their breath.  Some will even tell you to your face that you are not ready.  In these moments, you need to call to mind all the battles you have won with God by your side.  You will need to speak aloud as you recount the times he has led you to victory and then you need to find the boldness of David.  You need to follow God down an unpaved path and trust Him with your life as He uses you to expand His Kingdom.
 
And then you need to call me for a cup of coffee so we can chat and giggle about all He has done in our lives.
 

Yesterday my son had one of those really fun 3-year-old meltdowns.  You know the kind.  Screaming, flailing, snot dripping down his face.  I responded with the obligatory mothering statement, “Use your words!”
 
It took him about 10 minutes of tantrum to finally find those words.  When he did I melted.
 
“Mommy, I just want you to hold me.”
 
I knelt to the ground, pulled him into my lap (snot and all) and wrapped my arms around him.  He let his little body go limp, trusting my arms to hold him up and allowing his body to melt into mine.  This was a completely different kind of melt down, it was surrender instead of temper. 
 
How often do we run through life exhausted and then muscle through instead of stopping and resting?  We can get pretty ugly when we rely on our own strength when we are already weary.  Patience and joy go out the window as we try to plow through to do lists and make it to every engagement on time. 
 
Overscheduled and over tired the first thing to go out the window is our relationships.  We cancel coffee dates with friends to prepare for a Pinterest worthy party.  We plop iPads and iPhones in our children’s hands so we can finish work or a never ending to do list.  We delay date night with our spouse just one more week.
 
And then we are empty.  Weary.  Depleted.
 
As my son sunk into my chest and his breathing slowed to match mine I realized he was looking to me for strength.  He was resting in my strength when he was weary.  How sweet of God to let me have just a little piece of His job that afternoon to remind me to do the same as my son. 
 
It was a kind and gentle reminder from my Savior that when I get weary I need to return to the source of all strength and match myself to His breathing pattern.  Life in, life out.  Life in, life out.
 
 
Life in…rest, pray, read my Bible, ask God to guide my steps and encounters.
 
Life out…slow down, notice others, love well.
 
Life in…"Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Matthew 11:28
 
Life out… But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, Galatians 5:22

Life in…"For I satisfy the weary ones and refresh everyone who languishes."  Jeremiah 31:25
 
Life out…"I give you a new commandment: love one another. Just as I have loved you, you must also love one another.  John 13:34
 
 
Can I be honest?  For a part of my son’s meltdown I melted down myself.  I marched him to his room and told him not to come out until he could be quiet.  I raised my voice to try to quiet his.  I furrowed my brow and made my frustration and disappointment known.
 
It wasn’t until I also surrendered that peace was found.  I needed to be still and match my breathing to another just as much as my son did.
 
The house didn’t get clean as I sat there on the floor with my son, dinner didn’t get made, my to list had to wait, but I was filled to a point that brought me to a priority shift.  Life in.  Life out.

​There I was walking in confidence, walking out my calling, using my gifts, feeling good…then it hit me.  Insecurity.  I finally had time to pause and step back to look at what I had worked on and insecurity taunted me with questions and comments like:
Was this just a waste of time?  No one will be touched by this.  Are you sure this is not your gifting or calling?  Maybe this was just you, striving in the wrong direction…again.
 
Perhaps you have been there. 
 
When I start wallowing in negative emotions I turn to my Bible.  That day I turned to Nehemiah.  God put a passion on Nehemiah’s heart to rebuild Jerusalem and restore its people’s obedience to God.  One guy, no resources, tasked to rebuild a whole city.  Not to be a spoiler, but he did it.  I encourage you to learn how by reading Nehemiah; it’s amazing how God empowered and resourced him.  But I want to fast forward to the end of the story.
 
Nehemiah’s original goal was to restore the city to glorify God.  Not only did he rebuild the physical city but he put the community in order.  He made sure the people reread the law of God and instructed them on right living to glorify God.  Then after all that work, after using his gifts of leadership and planning and organization, the people defiled the rebuilt city by dishonoring God.
 
In chapter 13 Nehemiah once again returns to the city and tries to lead the people back to God.   Sadly, the book is anticlimactic and ends with Nehemiah listing for God the good works he did despite the outcome and asking God to, “Remember me, my God, with favor.”
 
After reading this I felt a bit angry with Nehemiah.  I thought to myself, “so he just threw his hands in the air as if to say, ‘oh well, I tried’?”  Why wasn’t he more invested in the outcome?
 
Then I remembered all the years he invested in doing what God had called him to do.  He found the raw material to build walls, he recruited workers to rebuild, he retaught God’s law and reminded the people to worship, he organized the people and encouraged obedience to God.  Do you know where he could have been all this time?  In a plush palace sitting with the King.  This is an invested man.  Perhaps he just knew where to invest and when to let go. 
 
God had assigned him with a task, not an outcome.  He invested himself in the work God set before him and then he left the rest to God.  Nehemiah reminds me to keep my eyes on two things, God, and the work he has given me.  The outcome belongs to Him.
 
Through Nehemiah’s story, God reminds me that this is a race, not a sprint.  He reminds me that following him takes endurance and patience and trust.  He teaches me that I may work hard and never see the outcome I hope to see.  Still, the work he sets before me is meaningful and part of a bigger picture. 
 
This restores my confidence.  This rebuilds my faith and allows me to slam the door shut on insecurity.  Thank God for stories in the Bible that remind me and teach me what it looks like to walk out my faith in the day-to-day.

This week I was plain discouraged.  I was trying to figure out how to fit in as a feminist when I am pro-life.  How do I fit in as a feminist when I believe men and women were created equally in God’s image but with separate roles that require them to work together?  How can I be a feminist and march alongside women spewing hateful statements that I don't agree with?  So, I didn’t march, but then I felt guilty about not marching for the issues feminists took up that do matter to me…equal pay…equal opportunity…civil rights...non-objectification…protection.  Then it hit me.  Labels are divisive.
 
I am not a feminist nor a passive female.  I am not pro-life or pro-choice.  I am not pro-equality or pro-discrimination.  I am pro-Jesus.
 
Okay that was cheesy but hang with me.  When I define myself not by the world’s standards, but by God’s standards, when I define myself as a child of God rather than try to conform to the definitions of this world…then I am free.
 
I am free to follow my God and still stand next to those that don’t agree with me.
I am free to stand up for what the Bible says in a loving way.
I am free to love in truth and excellence.
 
I can stand, or march, next to my sister who is an extreme feminist and voice my view that God said to stand up for the oppressed.  I can also sit down next to her and tell her that my God also created man and woman to help each other.  I can remind her that Jesus came to give life abundant so that we could live abundantly, not so we could destroy it.  I can share that while I support her on some of her platforms there are others that the Bible will Trump.  Yes, the Bible even Trumps Trump, so I am not afraid of him though I don’t agree with his objectification of women or his reckless discriminatory comments.  I also don’t agree with certain women cursing him on their platforms (Madonna a little class here).
 
I recall a wise man Paul once say, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” (Romans 12:2)
 
Let’s renew our minds.  Let’s not spend time trying to determine how we fit into the feminist dialog.  Let’s spend time determining how to share the dialog of Jesus in a broken world.  Let’s not define ourselves by a worldly label.  Can You Be A Christian Feminist?  I'm not sure nor do I care to waste anymore time figuring it out.  Let’s just define ourselves by the name given to us by our Creator.  Child of God.  Let’s not fight for equality and human rights in the name of feminism but in the name of Jesus.

** Hi friends! This post is part of a blog hop for Advent. At the end of my post you'll find links to some wonderful blogger friends who want to help you prepare Him room. Take some time to read them all. They really changed my heart and they will change yours too. **

 It may seem a little odd that on the cusp of Advent season I want to talk about Jonah, but God often takes us down windy roads to prepare our hearts.  I have been stuck in the four short chapters of Jonah for over a month.  Hidden in this story I have found the grace of God-the same grace that sent a son to die for the sins of the world.

Most of you know that Jonah was swallowed by a fish for disobeying God but lived to tell the tale.  It's the great Moby Dick story of the Bible.  What you will miss, if you don't read closely, is the story of man's selfish heart met by the grace of God's love-over and over again.

​Jonah went on a three hour tour to get away from God (as if one could "get away" from God) and ended up in the belly of a fish.  The reason?  God asked him to go preach against the sins of a great nation, Nineveh.  The very nation that had persecuted God's people.  He was to preach a warning message to turn them from their evil ways.  Jonah's reason for not wanting to do this was not because he was afraid of the people in Nineveh, it was not that it was a terrible place to visit as it was a rich land, his reason for not wanting to go was because he knew that if he warned them of their evil ways and they repented and turned to God that God would forgive them.  

Jonah didn't want God to forgive the people of Nineveh.  Jonah had decided their sins were too great to be forgiven.  Aren't you glad that God is in charge of the forgiveness department and not Jonah or you or me?  Left up to us, there would be a lot of nonredeemable people in the world.  

Jonah does get out of that fish, praising God for His grace and he goes to that town and obediently preaches as God instructed.  As the King called the nation to repentance Jonah hiked to a nearby mountain top hoping God would still destroy their city.  I can picture him staring up at the sky waiting for fireballs to drop down on Nineveh.  His waiting was in vain.  

Jonah was flat out mad that God forgave the people of Nineveh and showed mercy.  I love God's response in Jonah 4:10-11
But the Lord said, “You have been concerned about this plant, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. And should I not have concern for the great city of Nineveh, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left—and also many animals?”

In other words, I made these people.  I created mankind and I alone will determine how to love them.  And I choose grace.  I choose to pursue them when they sin against me and reward them as they draw near to me.  This is my relationship and the only law that dictates is love.  

The theme of this first week of Advent is hope.  As we anticipate the upcoming anniversary of our Savior's birthday, let us find hope in a God that loves with grace unbound.   Let us extend that hope to others as we offer them grace and not judgement.  Just as Jesus did.

Be sure to read all these blogs that are part of the Prepare Him Room blog hop.
Wrapped in Grace – by DeanaLynnRogers.com
Welcoming Jesus is less about perfect preparations and more about scooching over.

Prepare Him Room - By Going The Distance
Read about the love language of Advent season.

Let Every Heart Prepare Him Room – by Living For God
Pause, Reflect, Enjoy, Praise, Accept, Rejoice, Exclaim

Prepare Him Room – by Revelations of a Southern Girl
Revelations about celebrating the season with an illness.
​
This post is part of the Prepare Him Room Blog Hop as part of the Woven Vow Blogger Group on Facebook.  Join us for blog talk and faith filled encouragement.