The Faith To Not Grow Weary

10/18/2016

I am sitting at my desk on a dreary Tuesday morning and I come upon an email. Distraught with a weary heart I scanned over the words not really absorbing them until I read these words...

“So, sweet one, in pursuit of our gracious Father's heart, ‘Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up’ (Colossians 6:9). Live for Him, love Him, and be loved by Him.” ~Kaylene Yoder

You see my husband is not a believer. Besides the obvious, this also creates division in the leadership of our family because we both have a different lens through which we love others. One self-centered and one God-centered.

Every once in a while, like a thief in the night Satan tries to wrap his slimy fingers around my hope. His grip tightens with each critical comment from my husband, with each harsh word that knows just where to jab. As I shut down my emotions to protect myself the chaos takes over the joy in my home. How does hope turn to despair so quickly? They don’t call him a sneaky devil for nothing.

His grip tightens and squeezes the gentleness from my responses until I start looking much like the old self-centered version of myself. I cry out to God, “How long must I endure? How long must this go on? Could today be the day you redeem him? Could you please make him whole today? This is too hard. I can’t keep on loving and being kind all the time when I am faced with this! He can’t treat me this way! He can’t yell at the kids like that! He can’t be that selfish and get away with it!”

“So, sweet one, in pursuit of our gracious Father's heart, ‘Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up’ (Colossians 6:9). Live for Him, love Him, and be loved by Him.”

How He slays my selfish heart with his Word and the word of those that love Him. “In pursuit of our gracious Father’s heart”. That’s what it’s all about isn’t it? Pursuing God, accepting His grace and offering it to others so that they may see Him through you.

It is the sweet reminder of His amazing grace that spurs me to move towards anger with gentleness, snide remarks with soothing words. It is what helps my ears tune into the hurt behind the rage and pray that God will help me be a healing balm and not add to a festering wound.

But before I can be any of that, I must first be filled. So I come to the throne of my Creator and ask for Him to make my heart new today. I ask him to pour his refining fire on my mind so that all resentment and frustration gets lost in the embers of grace. I ask Him to pour out his love into my weary open hands so that I don’t look for it somewhere else. I ask Him to fill me with His spirit so that I may act out of self-control and with eternal ambitions.

And He does, because He is God. Unwavering and unfailing in His love.

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Be sure to read my follow up post to this one:
The Faith To See The Opportunity In Trials

6 Comments

Molly

10/18/2016 09:08:12 am

What an amazing verse of comfort - it so perfectly fits into where God has you right now. And has me. And lots of other people!! Thanks for sharing!

Katie

10/30/2016 08:58:32 pm

Thank you for taking the time to comment Molly. I always find comfort in His word.

Kenzie Stratmeyer

10/19/2016 08:14:56 am

I too am married to an unbeliever... half of the reason I chose him was that at the time he called himself a Christian, but he now says he must have been lying to himself... His dad is a (phenomenal) pastor and has actually been the very reason I turned from Catholicism to Biblical understanding and if it wasn't for that and the help of he and his wife, my frustration would completely torture my mind... Thank you for sharing this... Peace of Christ always.

10/30/2016 09:01:22 pm

Kenzie, I have just prayed for you. Thank you for taking the time to comment. It encourages me to keep sharing. I just posted a follow up blog to this post that I think will encourage you. "The Faith To See The Opportunity In Trials". I talk a bit about why I think God chose me to have an unbelieving husband.

Michelle

10/31/2016 10:27:57 am

Just found your blog. Thank you. You are saying things I need to remind myself of. I have thought for years that there is a reason I am in this position of being married to an unbeliever, but I have been too scared to do anything about it. I have felt led to start groups, prayer groups, support groups, etc, but fear for no one to care enough to come or to take that time away from my family. I have personally become so frustrated and lonely in my faith that I avoid church and fellowship, and I know that's the devil, and yet he is so effective sometimes. So thank you, thank you for blogging. Thank you for listening to God and obeying.

11/1/2016 09:05:31 am

Michelle I am so glad this post blessed you. Please be sure to read my follow up post to this one.
http://www.faithforher.com/her-blog/the-faith-to-see-opportunity-in-trials

I will pray for you sweet Michelle. Keep the faith!