This is a follow up post to The Faith To Not Grow Weary.
Whenever I write about the fact that my husband is an unbeliever I get a lot of responses. They are always quiet whisper responses…a private email, a personal message on LinkedIn, a phone call. They are almost always “me too” responses.
Me too…I have that problem.
Me too…I feel that pain.
Me too…I get weary.
Me too…thanks for letting me know I’m not alone.
I have been thinking long and hard on the responses I invoke. It is never my intention to wallow-or help others to wallow. For Christ came that we may have life and life abundantly. He came to earth to bring the Kingdom near so we could live in freedom. If He’s given us the gift of abundant life, then surely we should walk under the banner of that gift. I don’t think anyone has ever been won to Christ though sulking.
I share simply to enter in. I know the subject of being married to an unbelieving spouse is somewhat taboo. People don’t like to talk about it or don’t know what to say about it. Or often when they do have something to say about it-it’s all wrong. For example, a couple of weeks ago I was at a Pastor’s conference and I was speaking to a fellow teacher of our church. The subject of my husband sporadically attending church (because he has not yet come to faith) became the topic of conversation.
Now, in my mind, I was celebrating that sporadic was better than never. I was counting the ways I see God wooing my husband-even though my husband doesn’t see it yet. My friend across from me saw something else. He said, “You know what Pastor Rick would say if you guys weren’t married yet? He would say don’t get married.”
Hmmmm…long pause while I try not to reach out and strangle the young man for trying to strangle my hope. Isn’t it funny how we know our task is to build each other up in Christ but a thoughtless comment derails our purpose. The Bible warns against this. A lot! Proverbs 18:21, Ephesians 4:29, Proverbs 17:28, Proverbs 15:4, Matthew 12:36, just to name a few. I decided to let it slide. He is young and still has much life before him to learn the lessons only learned through time on this earth. We all deserve grace when we speak out of turn, and Pastor Rick has nothing to do with this, so I can’t hold someone else’s careless words against him.
But it does remind me of the importance of entering in. God gave me my unique situation and my unique gifting to minister to people who have the same struggles. Same goes for you, same goes for the young teacher with the careless words. You see words are never careless if the pain of the recipient is felt. It reminds me to stay in my own lane.
So here is the thing. We ARE married and there is nowhere in the Bible that says leaving an unbelieving spouse is a good thing. It says the opposite. Study it.
Here is the OTHER thing. I feel that God trusting me with an unbelieving spouse is one of my greatest honors. It is one of my hardest trials, but one of my greatest honors. God sees something in me that He knows can lead my husband to him. If you are married to an unbeliever or living with an unbeliever or friends with an unbeliever than God sees something in YOU that can lead that person to HIM.
It flips the situation on its head to no longer be about the unbeliever, but about you. It becomes about how God is pursuing you. Stay with me as I elaborate. If God sees something in you that can draw people to Him but you haven’t figured out what it is yet, then the dilemma is not the unbeliever but rather you seeking out God’s will for your life. This is about the relationship God wants to have with you, the things God wants to teach you. Because when you know God in such an intimate way that His presence rests on your shoulders when you come and when you go then people won’t be able to help but want to know him too.
Now don’t get me wrong, I know Jesus said, "No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them”. I don’t think my husband coming to faith rests on my actions. We don’t serve a God that keeps score on a merit based system. His blessings are given freely through His grace alone. I am just saying that if I draw close to the Lord and get to know Him in such an intimate way that I begin to reflect who he is in a powerful way, and in doing so His kingdom is brought near through my daily living, that it will be a beacon to my husband. A lighthouse shining the way. Then as God woos my husband through others he is more receptive.
Is all this easy when you break it down to the day to day trials of being human? No. But is it worth it? Is it worth the suffering to be closer to Jesus and to have hope my husband will come to know Him? Yes. Every bit worth it. Times ten. For where there are trials. There is opportunity.
Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.
James 1:2 NLT
This is part 2 of posts about living with an unbelieving spouse. Read The Faith To Not Grow Weary HERE
I'm just a girl, standing before my God, knowing that He loves me and wanting others to know that love too.